Quiet Fire Devotional | Control, Surrender, And God's Will

Control & Surrender

Control wears many disguises. Sometimes it is loud, demanding, unyielding. Other times, it creeps in quietly, hidden in tones of sarcasm or the punch of a passive-aggressive remark. But the intent is the same: to bend people and circumstances toward our will.

James names its root plainly: “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice” (James 3:16, ESV). Control is born from self-ambition. It thrives in disorder. It leaves behind fractured relationships, restless hearts, and shallow faith.

But Jesus shows another way. He was subject to manipulation, mockery, betrayal, and injustice. He lived without earthly control. And yet He never resorted to passive-aggression, coercion, or subtle maneuvers to protect Himself. He faced His circumstances with faith, love for people, and unwavering obedience to the Father.

The Nature of Passive-Aggression

Passive-aggression is often dismissed as harmless. But it is manipulation by another name. It is the quiet attempt to move people indirectly, to punish with silence, to speak in hints rather than truth. It is control dressed in politeness.

Proverbs warns us: “Whoever hates disguises himself with his lips and harbors deceit in his heart; when he speaks graciously, believe him not, for there are seven abominations in his heart” (Proverbs 26:24–25, ESV). The Bible does not take lightly the games we play with words. Manipulation corrodes trust. It disguises bitterness. It reveals our refusal to trust God’s timing.

At its root, passive-aggression is our way of forcing outcomes when we cannot get our way directly. It whispers, “I will make this bend to me.” But Jesus prayed, “Not my will, but Yours, be done” (Luke 22:42, ESV).

Jesus Under Pressure

Think about the moments when Jesus was most vulnerable to manipulation.

• In the wilderness (Matthew 4). Satan tempted Him to seize control: turn stones into bread, leap from the temple, claim kingdoms without the Cross. Each temptation was an invitation to force God’s hand, to grasp control rather than trust. Jesus refused. He answered with the Word, not manipulation.

• With the crowds (John 6:15). After feeding thousands, the people wanted to make Him king by force. Many leaders would have taken the power. But Jesus withdrew. He would not be manipulated into a throne that was not the Father’s will.

• With His disciples (Matthew 16:22–23). Peter urged Him to avoid the suffering of the Cross. It was well-intentioned manipulation: “There must be another way.” Jesus’ reply was piercing: “You are a hindrance to Me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.”

In every case, Jesus resisted both being manipulated and manipulating others. He stayed surrendered to the Father’s will, even when that meant walking into pain.

The Cross: The Pinnacle of Surrender

The ultimate example is the Cross.

There He faced betrayal from Judas, political maneuvering from Pilate, false testimony from witnesses, and the mob’s manipulation stirred by leaders. He was stripped of control, subject to every distortion of human will. Yet His posture never shifted into bitterness or veiled aggression.

When Pilate claimed power over Him, Jesus replied: “You would have no authority over Me at all unless it had been given you from above” (John 19:11, ESV).

What did He show us? That even in utter lack of control, He remained anchored in the Father’s sovereignty. He endured the silence, the shame, and the nails without ever resorting to subtle retaliation. His surrender was complete.

Why We Manipulate

Why do we resort to control, passive-aggression, and manipulation? Because we believe that our will is being denied, delayed, or ignored. And rather than trust God’s timing, we find sideways methods to get what we want.

James diagnoses it: “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” (James 4:1, ESV).

Passive-aggression is the outward symptom of an inner war — the battle between “my will” and “Thy will.”

Jesus modeled the opposite in Gethsemane. With blood like sweat dripping to the ground, He prayed: “Not my will, but Yours, be done.” That is the prayer that disarms manipulation. That is the posture that frees us from control.

The Better Way

Jesus shows us that surrender is not weakness. It is faith in action.

• Faith. He trusted the Father’s timing, even when that meant waiting, even when that meant suffering.

• Love. He responded without retaliation. To Judas He said, “Friend, do what you came to do.” To Pilate He bore witness to truth. To the soldiers He offered silence and prayer.

• Truth. He spoke plainly. He never distorted words to bend people to His will. “For this purpose I was born and for this purpose I have come into the world — to bear witness to the truth” (John 18:37, ESV).

The better way is not control but surrender. Not manipulation but trust. Not bitterness but love.

Practical Applications

1. Personal. Where do you see manipulation in your words or actions? Confess it. Call it what it is. Let God uproot the fear beneath it.

2. Relational. Replace passive-aggressive comments with clear, gracious speech. Paul instructs: “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another” (Ephesians 4:25, ESV).

3. Spiritual. Pray the prayer of Gethsemane daily. “Father, not my will but Yours.” This is how we train our hearts to release control.

The Voice of God’s Will

Control shouts, manipulates, maneuvers. But God often speaks in a whisper. Elijah discovered this at Horeb: not in wind, not in fire, not in earthquake — but in a low whisper (1 Kings 19:12).

Passive-aggression may whisper deceit; God whispers truth. His whisper is not to control us but to invite us. His Spirit does not manipulate; He convicts and comforts.

When we surrender control, we hear that whisper more clearly. And in that whisper, we find rest.

Closing Charge: Freedom in Surrender

Control is an illusion. Passive-aggression may bend people for a moment, but it never transforms hearts. Manipulation deepens bondage, leaving us emptier than before.

But Jesus has shown us freedom. “If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36, ESV).

The Cross was the greatest moment of apparent weakness — and the greatest display of true strength. In surrender, He broke the grip of sin. In love, He overcame the schemes of men. In obedience, He revealed the Father.

So the question for us is piercing but clear: Will we keep trying to bend reality by our will, or will we surrender to the Father’s?

Because in the end, freedom is not found in control. It is found in the quiet whisper of surrender.